Few Words Infinite Wisdom

"Consciousness expresses itself through creation. This world we live in is the dance of the creator. Dancers come and go in the twinkling of an eye but the dance lives on. On many an occasion when I am dancing, I have felt touched by something sacred. In those moments, I felt my spirit soar and become one with everything that exists. I become the stars and the moon. I become the lover and the beloved. I become the victor and the vanquished. I become the master and the slave. I become the singer and the song. I become the knower and the known. I keep on dancing then it is the eternal dance of creation. The creator and creation merge into one wholeness of joy. I keep on dancing.. and dancing... and dancing, until there is only.. the dance." MICHAEL JACKSON 'THE DANCE'

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Cora Cook 1918-2006

The following is a true story about the life of my maternal grandmother, Cora. It details the unbelievable journey of a truly inspirational woman - one who survived more pain and suffering than most of us could ever imagine. I read it every year on her birthday (today) and now I would like to share it with you. RIP Nan. We miss you so much.

"Cora Veronica Tolson was born in Moonee Ponds on 15 November 1918 – such a small baby, her mother said, that she could fit little Cora into a pickle jar! Cora was the second child and the first daughter to Cora Annie and Ernest Tolson. She had an older brother Ernie and two younger sisters Mavis and Pat.

Throughout Cora’s younger years, her family moved many times around Melbourne (Preston, West Coburg, East Preston, East Coburg Tram Terminus, Parkville, Fawkner, St Kilda and Malvern). They were mostly moonlight flits because Cora’s father was out gambling. He wasn’t able to handle the pressures of bringing up a family and her mother struggled to bring up four children on her own.

At 13 years of age and with the Depression setting in, Cora had to go to work in a factory in Brunswick where she made stockings. She was forced to tell her employers that she was actually 14 years of age otherwise they would not have employed her.

Walking was a big part of Cora’s life – whilst working in the Brunswick factory, she walked to and from North Coburg each day, telling her friends that she walked “because she liked it and it was healthy” when in reality she was far too embarrassed to tell them that her father refused to keep his children and she couldn’t afford the tram fare. There were also no lunches. She would say that she was slimming, but again the real reason was that she had no money.

Cora knew what it was like to be dirt poor, to have a hungry belly and to wear cheap shoes with holes that were stuffed with paper. To escape the poverty in Melbourne, her family moved to the Old Brown Coal Mine where at least they had their own bush shack and where most of the family continued to reside for the rest of their lives.

Cora married Frank Ernest Cook, the local milkman, on the 6 July 1940 at St Therese’s Catholic Church in Yallourn, having a pie and sauce for their wedding breakfast. In those days, as Cora was a Catholic and Frank a Methodist, marrying was not the done thing, but they were in love.

Robert Denis was born 15 months later – the first grandchild in the Cook family. Robert was to be the first of nine sons, but due to complications Robert was an only child for eight years until miraculously (and after many years of treatment suggested by her mother-in-law) along came Peter John and three years later, a little girl, Patricia Anne, completing the family. Frank always said that the reason there wasn’t any more children wasn’t from the lack of trying!

Cora was involved in the local community, spending many years in the Yallourn North CWA (until it ceased operation) and 15 years in the Girl Guides LA obtaining her long service badge. She was also the first one to receive a long service award for the Yallourn North Catholic Women’s League.

Cora’s health was never brilliant, suffering severe migraines and gout for most of her life. She had all of the regular illnesses of the time as well as diphtheria, scarlet fever and rheumatic fever. She even had her tonsils out twice and nearly died the second time from severe blood loss. Her appendix, gall bladder, teeth and tonsils had all been removed and she had a tubal pregnancy between Peter and Patricia (and later a complete hysterectomy).

Over the years Cora had her haemorrhoids repaired along with her carpel tunnels and cataracts. In 1976 she started to have ‘black outs’ and both Frank and Robert found her passed out several times after she had been sweeping or walking up through the backyard. Cora was then diagnosed as having low blood pressure.

In July 1979 while on a trip to Sydney to visit Patricia and her family, Cora passed out on the street in Parramatta whilst shopping. Frank did CPR as an ambulance rushed to her aid and then she was whisked away to Parramatta Hospital. By the grace of God, Australia’s top heart physician was visiting for that particular week. He immediately diagnosed her with Aortic Stenosis and she was quickly scheduled for open heart surgery.

Later that August, Cora had the open heart surgery, with an aortic valve replacement and two bypasses. The doctor was quite distressed about having to put in a metal valve instead of a pigs skin one, as having a metal valve meant that Cora would be on Warfarin for the rest of her life. She was indeed a very sick woman and it took five months before she could return to her home in Yallourn North.

Cora became obsessed with walking and over-did it many times. Five years after her heart operation, Cora thought she was having a cerebral haemorrhage when an excrutiating pain, starting in her head, progressed down to her heart and her back. Frank called an ambulance and Cora (being such a determined and stubborn woman) was convinced she could walk to the ambulance but quickly collapsed. The doctor on duty was called but said she "would go and see Mrs Cook when I am ready”.

A few days later another doctor took over and ordered Cora to Melbourne’s Epworth Hospital for a lumbar puncture. At the time, an eves-dropper overheard the new doctor saying that “if she had been here a few days earlier, we could have saved her..”. She was then transferred on to the Alfred Hospital where she had an operation in her back, removing a nine inch blood clot that was twisted around the spinal column.

Eight days later the pain returned and another emergency operation was performed to remove yet another nine inch clot. Horrifically, during the operation Cora’s spinal cord was cut. Post operation, the doctor callously told her “if you can’t move your feet within two days, you’ll be paralysed for the rest of your life” – such a brutal sentence! But the damage had been done and Cora was now a paraplegic. She spent the following twelve months in the Caulfield Rehabilitation Hospital learning to cope with her disability.

In the following years, Frank did a wonderful job of looking after Cora at home, but he wasn’t well either and sadly passed away on the 1 June 1988. Cora had a pressure sore on her bottom and had to go back to Caulfield for another 12 months, after which she wasn’t allowed to go and live by herself in Yallourn North. From then on she spent some time with Robert and his wife Carmen, and then lived with Patricia and her family in Cooma for a few years until she felt ready to go into the Labrobe Valley Village Hostel.

During her time in Cooma, Cora spent most of her time lying on her stomach as her pressure sore just would not heal. Those days of lying on her front went from days, to months, to a year. Every possible treatment was tried but being allergic to most of the treatments, the only way to fix the problem was surgery. That was when the mark of Zorro was permanently stamped onto her bottom back in Caulfield.

Hospitals were her second home for the last 20 years of her life. When she had both of her carpel tunnels done at the same time, she was without the use of both her legs AND her arms. Her arms had to be raised up high after the operation and her blood was needed to be taken – but they couldn’t take it from her arms and wouldn’t take it from her groin so she suggested taking it from her feet. When the nurse inserted the needle into her foot, Cora spasmed and her foot shot up into the air, hitting the nurse right in his face!

In 2000 Cora had two strokes and spent several months doing a marvellous job of rehabilitating in Traralgon Hospital. In May 2001 she had another close call when her electrolytes plummeted so low, she became unconscious for a few days. Upon coming to, at the time, she didn’t even know her own sons. All throughout those years she never completely lost her sense of humour. Such an amazing, inspirational woman. Blood tests? She had over 500 of them – think of that the next time you have to have one!

Just after Christmas in 2001, yet another tragedy came with the loss of her eldest son, Robert Denis. In one’s life you can expect to lose your parents to death, perhaps also your life partner, but never your children.

Life went on and many more of her life long friends passed away. Along with many of her friends at the hostel, she said goodbye to Eady Nevin, Kath Foggaty, Lizzie Clark, Marlin Lam (her nurse from Caulfield Hospital) and her best friend, Marj Laird. She still tried to remain independent but it was evident that she was losing her edge as she began to experience troubles doing her day to day chores and becoming easily muddled up with her carers.

In the years preceeding her death, she learned to use a computer and was receiving emails, photos and jokes, printing them off to show people or to send to her sister Pat in Albury. She couldn’t figure out what the word ‘google’ meant and why it kept coming up on her screen! Mind you, it took everyone else quite some time to figure out what it meant as well..

In November 2005 Cora had to go to Moe for a shoulder x-ray – it was causing her much pain and she was unable to transfer from her bed to the wheelchair. Peter John said he would order a disabled taxi to make it easier for her (not having to transfer from the wheelchair to the passenger seat) but there were none available at the time and in an attempt to lift her spirits, decided they could walk to the clinic “being such a lovely day”.

When they had finished and wanted to go home, the sky had become rather black and whilst Peter was worried about his mother getting wet, all Cora was concerned about was that her hair had just been set that day! They made it back to the hostel café and enjoyed a cappuccino together before Peter took her back to her room and wished her goodnight.

On his way home, Peter’s phone rang – it was one of the staff from the hostel saying that the results of Cora’s blood test were not good and that they were sending her back to hospital. Of course, Cora wasn’t too happy about going back there but her blood count was down and she had a bad urinary infection, including a skin breakage on her bottom which meant she had to lie on her side all of the time.

Cora was losing strength and not enjoying her stay in hospital, particularly as she was going to have to spend her birthday there – she said she couldn’t believe it when she woke up on the day she turned 87, having wished that she would pass away before the day arrived. It was incredibly sad that she asked not to have any visitors that day – she was just too unwell and wanted peace.

By this time it was clear that if she was to leave the hospital again, she would require much extra care, so plans were made to have her transferred from the hostel where she’d been living to the Narracan Gardens nursing home, where her well-being declined rapidly and she passed away on the Friday evening of 27 January 2006 at 9.15pm"

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